Beagle Sunday

This morning I’ve been to one of the most entertaining events one can attend on a sunday morning!!

And nope, I’m not talking about a yummy brunch at a hip cafe or bar (sorry to disappoint!!) much better:

I went to a Beagle Meeting!!

After breakfast my parents packed up Eddie (our 9-months-old puppy … a beagle … err … obviously!) and we embarked on a little trip to a neighboring village where the ‘Beagle meeting’ is held on a huge meadow every sunday!

Once there, we were greeted by approximately 30 beagles of all shapes and colors and their proud owners! A feast for men and dog, let me tell ya!!

As the puppies were playing and running around (Eddie was having a blast!!) , the people (most of them gathered in groups, eating sausages) were gossiping ….. think hair saloon, yet ten times more provocative!! Biting, patrionizing, often sarcastic remarks about whose beagle was fed too much, whose beagles’ shoulders were too high, legs too short, which dog school owner was shagging whom wherever you listened …… every owner obviously thinking ‘mine’s the most precious … nahnahnahnah’. Shocking, but still … entertaining as hell!

Thus, around noon we left this joyous get-together highly amused and enlightened!!

Can you imagine I’m actually looking forward to next week? Mainly for the sausage that is though 😉

Summer in the City

Granted – the 24th of april doesn’t exactly classify as ‘summer’ (at least in this hemisphere…) but strolling through the streets of Hamburg city I can say: heck, it sure does feel like it!!

Because everywhere you look, there are people (astonishing, I know!!). People with icecreams, people on bikes, mommy’s proudly wheeling their offspring around in fancy looking prams … makes me wonder: Don’t people have a home !? (well, at least now I know why there’s such a shortage of flats in this city)

But the sun feels good. The air smells like spring. BBQ season officially ‘opens’ next week and Starbucks has put up tables and chairs outside!

Me … I used to consider myself a winter person, or rather a fall person (love fall!! love the colourful leaves and cozy evenings in front of my non-existent chimney ;-)) but even though I’m not exactly what you’d call an outdoorsy person, I think I’m changing my mind…

I love spring!! I love the fact that people look so much happier than they did a couple of weeks ago! I love flirting with random strangers, eating stracciatella icecream and having the sun shine on my face.

And for the first time in a long time … I’m really looking forward to summer 🙂

The Dating Dilemma: Casting vs. Chemistry

Sometimes life is a huge, hilarious casting show (starring a whole lot of self-righteous judges, smartass contestants and huge trunk full of expectations!)

And I’m not just talking about job interviews and assessment centers (I’ll come to those in another post)…

I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve been on dates that felt more awkward than a dentist appointment and I’m not ashamed to admit that I signed up for a 4-week-trial for a dating site once! At first I thought that was a really neat  idea because networking with random strangers from pretty much EVERYWHERE allows you to socialize with people you’d probably never meet under different circumstances (though sometimes that might be a blessing!?). And yes, I guess knowing beforehand what your potential spouse really likes and what pisses him off MIGHT be a good thing, and hey, it’s been told to work (fuck chemistry for that matter!) but after spending 4 weeks on friendscout I’ve realized that that’s not my cup of tea.

On those sites, it’s all about the profile. As I was putting up my profile, looking for a nice smily pic, putting in eye color, hair color, education and annual income and checking those same categories for a potential date I thought ‘wait a minute!! This is not what matters (I was being really philosophical, but honestly, despite a certain curiosity about the men I would be ‘matched’ with -virtually that is, the site offered a ‘matching service’ that told you you have a 97% compatibility with whoever, showing you a glimpse of the pic whilst making you pay (via paypal) if you decided them worthy to receive a message … mad world!!- the whole thing felt just wrong)

I mean … whatever happened to chemistry? Whatever happened to sparks? Whatever happened to falling madly in love with someone who doesn’t fit the profile?

A few years ago I had a very humiliating experience with a guy I’d met on a social network. He’d been to my school and texted me one day that he liked my profile and if I was up for a coffee. I thought ‘heck why not? If we don’t click we can still talk about teachers!!’ and I never say ‘no’ to a coffee. Turns out the guy I met up with a few weeks later turned out to be really creepy. After short intros he walked me to the bar he had chosen (somehow the idea of a coffee had been turned into the idea of a cocktail and really coincidentally his flat was just around the corner…), told me he had forgotten to go to the atm and would be back in a few minutes .. off he went never to be seen again, later texting me something like ‘yeah sorry for being such a coward but i was looking for a good shag and you’re so not my type’. I was mortified! While part of me was happy that the night ended early (very early that is, but it probably did save me an hours’ worth of awkward teacher gossip and embarrassing silences!!) I’ve hated this man for years to come for giving me doubts about myself. Because despite knowing that the guy was clearly a freak and I was lucky to not have met up with an axe murderer, I thought ‘what the fuck is wrong with me that this man didn’t even deem me worthy of a coffee?!?’.

So after this encounter I vowed never to go on a blind date again. In fact I did, a few years later, yet only after making sure that the guy and I got on really well before we met. He was a friend of a friend of mine, so I had her word that he wasn’t an axe murderer and by the time we did meet after having been in contact via email, chats and even phone for a few months, I knew that we at the very least liked each other enough that he wouldn’t just leave me anywhere and send me a humiliating text (I still told him not to do that, just to be on the safe side!) Turns out we did have a lot of fun and that time my instincts hadn’t failed me…

Anyways, that’s just a glimpse at my history of the dating/casting circus. I’m intrigued to hear your experiences on that matter!

So long (very long indeed this time!!)

Wiebi

The Bitch and The Bridesmaid’s Dress

I love shopping!!

Whether I’m on vacation or just strolling through down town Hamburg city – my visa is usually burning! Handbags, jewelry (the stuff that you can buy at Accessorize, NOT the kinda stuff that grows in the water…) anything. Love it!

So when my friend Victoria asked me if I wanted to be her maid of honor I not only felt deeply touched because being a friends MoH is really that: a great honor … the material girl in me also thought ‘mmmmmh lovely! DRESS SHOPPING!’ (of course that wasn’t the very reason I said ‘yes’ but certainly added a passion to my response!) At that point I hadn’t realized that bridesmaid’s dress shopping can be quite a humiliating experience when you’re not a perfect 10 …

So in Hamburg we have this street called ‘Neuer Wall‘, an equivalent to 5th Avenue for anyone who’s been to NYC or has heard about it. Ridiculously overprized little boutiques and designer stores wherever you look.

So Victoria, meaning well, had picked a very fancy, very expensive bridal store for my bridesmaid’s dress. As we entered the store we were greeted (though ‘greeted’ might not be the correct word … it was rather an icy nod, but you’re getting the point!!) by a very hostile, nose-up, bitchy saleswoman who, after giving me the once-over, looked at Victoria, muttering under her breath ‘Is THAT the friend you were telling me about? Well you certainly were being very nice! I’m sure we can’t fit in her in a 10 OR a 12’ (spitting out the 12 as if that were a common metaphor for cholera or a horrifying STD).

Well, even though at that moment I already felt like strangling the bitch with one of her fancy, beaded designer scarfs, for Victoria and her mom’s sake I just nodded politely, uttering something like ‘we’ll see’.

I’m a 14-16 in dresses so after twenty minutes of making phone calls, barking things like ‘I need a VERY big size here!’ the bitch came up with a size 12 dress and a corsett. Needless to say I couldn’t fit that thing over my bum and by the time she graciously offered to have one tailored for the price of a toyota yaris we told her to ‘fuck off’ in as nice words as possible and headed for C&A (equivalent to Macy’s or JC Penny’s) where we bought a lovely, scarlet dress. A beautiful size 14 with a lilac flower to be added to the front!  It’s much nicer than the stuff bitch & co had in her store and it was actually affordable.

So when I take my puppy Eddie for a walk next time, I know where he can do his business. Maybe I’ll even put a wee fake crown on top of it 😉

The Diary Dilemma

Well, well … this blog isn’t supposed to be an online diary … or is it? Truth be told – I haven’t made up my mind yet!

Having recently read through a whole stack of angry teenage diaries (my own btw though I’m ashamed to admit that I occasionally had a peak at my friends’ as well ….. entertaining as hell, though my cheeks were burning as I was turning the last page…)

I was led to wonder … how to handle retired diaries!?

I mean, do my grandchildren really want to read one day how I gave Robert an F for teasing me? Or that I once fancied a teacher? Dreamt of marrying Leonardo DiCaprio? And so much more that I’m too ashamed to be writing about in this blog! Re-reading my words, for the most part written with my good ol’ ink pen (oh yeah!) made we wonder: was I really such a lovesick, boycrazed, angry teen? Cynical and unforgiving as hell?

Certainly … reading those little novels made me smile but I kept wondering: what if something happened to me and my family would read them without me being there to lie ‘well yeah, I was piss-head drunk when i wrote that’ (not that that would make anything better, but still …) What would people think about me after reading my outpourings, bound in old leather, a geeky cartoon mouse on the cover!? My ‘sweetwiebi’ email would definitely be a blast from the past, let me tell ya! And last but not least: what kinda read would their diaries make?

But what’s the alternative? Should I eliminate them? Burn them? Could I?

I think despite their embarassing potential I’ll keep’em around for a little longer … if only to recover them from the depth of my closet every once in a while to think ‘hahaha I’d never ever write such bullshit again’

OR … WOULD I ?!?

How I encountered the blogosphere …

… I would be lying if I said I knew for sure, but I pretty certain it was 4 years ago, so …

Once upon a time … 4 years ago … as holidays were over and everyone was returning to uni … it was time to choose classes! What’s the most important criteria when choosing classes? Right … never … ever … voluntarily sign up for a class that requires you moving your body out of your warm and cozy bed before ten am …

Needless to say … I do like following my own advice! So I scanned the little booklet to look for classes starting after 12 (you do need time to shower and get dressed!). As I was scanning the booklet, probably having a coffee, I came across a class called “Weblogs: online diaries, journalism and corporate blogging”.

So even though I thought ‘What the fuck is a weblog?’ and technically I wasn’t even allowed to take the class because the lazy bum that I was I had flunked the mid-term (flunking an oral exam … never a pleasant experience!) I signed up! And I liked it! During the first class I did at one point raise my hand to ask the professor what a weblog was and the class was thankful because according to my rough estimations 99 percent hadn’t the foggiest about what they’d signed up for, but I can honestly say I left this class somewhat enlightened! Not only did I meet Anne who is now one of my closest friends, but I also developed quite a passion for the topic so when it was time for the second oral exam (same prof, same room, same ol’ stuttering me!!) I passed with honors! Woohoo!

And even though for the 4 years that followed I couldn’t be arsed to keep a blog of my own I am now proud to be writing this one!

So long for now,

Wiebi

Hello world!

… WordPress just informed me that this is my first post! No shit! So what are first posts for? Right….intros! So Hi everyone! Hi blogosphere! Hi world and peeps beyond the virtual end of my street! Big pleasure to meet ya!

This is me

About me … in a nutshell, as you’ll get to know me better as you read my posts and comment … my name is Wiebi and I’m a 26-year old writer from Hamburg, Germany! Now you might ask yourself: Why does a German blog in English and not use her own fucked up mothertongue (btw we did invent meaningful phrases such as ‘kindergarten’ and ‘poltergeist’)? Well the truth is simple (… though what did Oscar Wilde have to say about this? ‘The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple’) I love the English language! I even went and studied it. Am I fluent? Hell, no! So please graciously overlook all errors and understand that I’m building a bridge here! A bridge between countries! Cultures! Languages! My ego and the keyboard …..

Anyways, where was I? Right, I was introducing myself. So my name is Wiebke but I like Wiebi. I left uni a few months ago having mastered in English and communication … so now this is what I do … communicating in English … I currently study tourism marketing because as a passionately traveler I honestly cannot imagine a nicer industry to be working in and also work at a social media consultancy!

I’m a very chaotic and disorganized person but I like to think that despite my personal chaos my friends can rely on my 10000 percent and once you’ve won my heart it’s a tough thing to lose it! I love travelling, I love coffee, I love anything really that involves steamy beverages, socializing and chocolate chunk cookies and most of all … I love writing!

So welcome to my world .. err .. blog! Willkommen!

So long for now,

Wiebi